May 2009

by George Craddock

----Question: Do you have any idea how much money a Weather Forecaster makes? What is their Job Description? What are their Job Requirements? Last but not least, why is that they seldom seem to be correct, unless it’s the same obvious forecast you could get from your Grandfather, while he’s rubbing his old broken bones or even from your kid, who comes dragging his little friend from next door, inside the house, saying “it looks like its going to rain outside, Dad, you better put the cover on the Grill”.

----Our local, supposedly well-trained and I imagine, well-paid, weather forecaster predicted RAIN starting on Wednesday evening and ruining the weekend with its on and off heavy rain showers for the next five days.

-----Do you realize how many emails I received this week from motorcycle groups canceling their Poker Runs and Group Rides and other Events because of some weather man/woman repeating, “its going to rain off & on, all day Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday”. A group in Maryland even cancelled their annual “Fish Fry”. An event hundreds come out for each year and even I manage to drag myself to. Now, for my free eats this Saturday, I’ll have to go down to the local Harley-Davidson shop, where they grill free Hot Dogs and Sausages every Saturday, rain or shine (hint, hint, Honda shops).

-----I even got out all day on Wednesday, figuring I’d beat the rain and cut my grass, put down some grass seeds in spots and some fertilizer so as to let the rain wash it down into the soil and I’m good until mid-summer. I’m still stiff from that little all-day exercise in futility. Where’s the rain?

-----I spent Wednesday evening and Thursday looking for rain, like a little boy waiting for Santa on Christmas eve. I think that it may have sprinkled some yesterday (Friday) in the DC area. For about a long minute. The Tourists didn’t even blink. It was just enough to ruin your shiny car and leave those disturbed dust marks on your wax job.

-----So, after going out on Thursday, Friday and this morning, watching the birds feast on my grass seeds, and being the inquisitive sort, I decided to resort to the trusty old computer and check out the training and requirements of a Weather Forecaster. Maybe a few of the homeless guys I see around, would qualify, since they do seem to be something of an expert on weather and know about coming in out of the rain and preparing for cold weather, etc. If you see a homeless guy gathering his blankets and getting some cardboard boxes together, expect cool weather that evening. On the other hand, if they’re buying cheap wine and preparing to lay out on park benches all night; go home, get your telescope out, fire up the grill & prepare to watch the stars on a nice clear evening.

------I noticed on the computer that in most ads, the salary was “not specified” and hopefully not dependent on how many times you are right. I noticed it never said anything about being factual, just CREATIVE. It’s Saturday and no rain, so I guess I need to go get a free Sausage before they’re gone and get back to water the grass before the sun breaks through those ominous “Rain Clouds” and turns the fertilizer to acid. If anyone gets rain this weekend, let me know so I can send an apology to all Weather Forecasters and ask why so late.
See you on the road – The Editor

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